The gift of gifting

I love giving presents.

Listening to my friends and family all year, jotting down notes on tiny scraps of paper.

Researching where to get something. Maybe making it myself, or having it made especially for them. I'm not one to just last minute race to the store and pick up any old thing.

I think a gift should reflect both the giver and the recipient.

There is total joy for me when someone opens a box and has a 'WOW' kind of reaction.

Conversely, I'm totally crushed when one of my present is tossed aside without even a comment.

I feel as abandoned as the gift. Bereft. Like I had somehow failed in my quest.

It's also hard for me to send a present out via the parcel post. It's like casting a child adrift into the sea on an iceberg and hoping they are all right at the end of their journey. What if never arrives? What if its broken? Smashed to smithereens?

Wait, what exactly IS a 'smithereen', anyway?

Anyway.....I digress...

I love being there when my gift is opened. Watching faces for clues, hearing the sucked in breath of discovery. Trying not to jump up and down in excitement with them, because its supposed to be about THEM. Their reaction. Their joy. Their excitement.

There are times I wish I could be one of those people that buys randomly, shoves the item into a box and folds any old paper around it and slaps on a bow. An uncoordinated-with-the-paper bow.

Seems these folks arent emotionally attached.

Wait, maybe not.

Maybe they dont get hurt, but they dont have as much to be excited about either.

Gifts are ...... Taking a risk of heartache.
Going full bore. Letting go. Opening up. Receiving. Giving.
How interesting.
Sounds kind of like love, doesnt it?









(listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HJiL6OerCI&feature=related)

Holiday Humor

I'm sure most of you have seen this classic Saturday Night Live skit.
It's been a couple of years and it STILL makes me laugh. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

The Verdict

I'm not so positive I like this new computer age when it comes to medical care.
Sure, it seems to reduce billing glitches. Inventory is much simpler.
Even mistaken identity has been curtailed.
However, it seems to be lacking the human touch.


Case in point: 2 weeks ago I had a very important blood test.
I'm not going to go into details here, but I will say I did my part to comply with treatment.
I did everything I was supposed to do.
On schedule. Perfectly perfect in every way.
Apparently bodies have their own ideas about where they want to go.
They don't care about perfection.
And you cant pick your disease.

I received a computerized letter from my physician. I let it lay on the counter for a week.
It was the results from my blood test.
Why didnt I open it?
I'd done everything I could.
Of COURSE the results would be fine.

It wasnt.
Fuck.

Part of my surprise in this entire process was the hot-off-the-printer note from my doctor scrawled in a bold ariel font at the top of my blood test results.
This is what it said:
"Tammy, your numbers are worse this time. Your xx was normal''

Wow.

Shouldnt there have been a phone call?
Something said about follow up?
Maybe a warm addition like ''hugs and kisses, Dr. X'' ?
or at the very least a ''Wow, that sucks. Too bad. Call me.''

I dropped the results into my health files.
You know, the file that's getting fatter day by day.

I'll email him later.

I wonder if he'll notice.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR-qQcNT_fY)

Broken Hearts

It's difficult for me to welcome someone into my family's inner circle.
We've always been kind of a closed little society, although we make it a point to be nice and cordial to everyone.
And so it was hard to learn to accept my daughter's choice of boyfriend.
When they first got together, he was an arrogant ass.
We were aghast. How could she even enjoy being around this guy?
We were trapped in our obligation to have him attend family gatherings.
We suffered through. He didn't like being around us, and we didnt like being around him.
Then slowly, we were able to find common ground. He relaxed.
We lightened up and started including him in our traditions.
We listened to him. We learned about each other.

We actually looked forward to seeing him.

They were together 5 years and lived in the same home for 4.
They were engaged to be married.
Recently, he decided he didnt want to be with her anymore.
They broke up and he moved out.

It's awkward.
We were supposed to love him like our own, yet now we are to have minimal contact since they have split the sheets.
What's the etiquette here? Do I send him a Christmas gift? A card?
Invite him over?
Acknowlege him in public? What happens if he *gasp* wants to talk to me?


I suppose I could brow beat him for breaking my kid's heart.
I could treat him like a leper...shun him so he never attempted to speak to any of us again.

Or do I give him a big hug and tell him I miss him?


Nobody told me how hard this part would be.
In writing this blog, I had a terrible thought.....
When our daughter's heart was broken, ours got cracked a little bit too.


Ouch.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDlCcGBtGd0)

Shades of a Late Summer

(note: this was written in late summer and I just found it again)

fresh, organic vegetables from my garden

gathered at dawn, pleasantly glistening as I lift from their beds

crispy potatoes roasting in cold-pressed olive oil

delicate sauces bubbling softly on the stove

chop, chop, chop

feet shod in crazy red clogs

ugly sundress with vintage apron

happily singing off key to the radio nearby

loud

Maggie forever underfoot

kitchen therapy

dinner is ready

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtPF9M3nIHs)

The Face

I have one of THOSE faces.
People think they know me no matter what town I'm in.
They look--then they look again--then they look AGAIN.

It's also the face that people talk to. Confide in.
I have no idea why this happens, but it can occur anywhere.
My friends all laugh, because the minute I make eye contact with a stranger they know
it's only a matter of time before that stranger is tucked in close, telling me everything.
I'm serious when I say everything.
Friends and family take it in stride when we go out.
They have learned (like me) to be patient. They wait. They shake their heads.
Often.
They all think its funny.
And I suppose it is.

They all blame it on THE FACE.

My face.
So, what do I look like?
Actually, I look like an ordinary person.
Nothing that stands out or screams ''wow''
Dark brown eyes with laugh lines crinkled around the corners
Cheeks that blush too easily
A nondescript nose
And a mouth with cupid's bow lips and fairly straight teeth thanks to orthodontics.
Apparently it's a kind face. One filled with empathy and compassion.

Man, if these people only knew.

(listening to :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEGFuXGHMdY&feature=PlayList&p=32E972CA7D2B845D&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=29)

Bully for you

I have been thinking about bullies lately.

Websters define a Bully as : to browbeat: discourage or frighten with threats or a domineering manner; intimidate

Why do people feel the need in 2009 to behave this way?

How do they justify bullying in their minds?

What kind of person is a bully? According to some theories, bullying behavior starts when someone has been bullied themselves or feels powerless within their own lives.
Instead of dealing directly with the disappointment, they feel warranted in harming others emotionally, physically or spiritually.

Bullies can hide behind religion, anonymous Internet posts, social groups and even the media.They can be found in the workplace and school , although there are laws now to prohibit such behavior.
In talking about bullies recently with friends, I was surprised to hear how common it is.
I couldn't believe the stories I heard. From all walks of life, it seems everyone has
encountered a bully at some point.
What I learned was that when confronted, most bullies are cowards. Cowards that don't have a leg to stand on. They are wobbly and sad and pathetic.
And so, I have decided I know just how to handle the person who has been bullying me.
If one more instance occurs, I will be sure in my stance.
I will draw a line in the sand. I will be positive and self aware of my words.
And I will make damn sure the bully is stopped in his tracks.
For good.

A Brewing Company is Born

The beer is done! The beer is done!!

We've been making beer for ages, but haven't ever gone as far as naming it and placing a label onto the bottle.

It was difficult to decide on a logo, but the name was easy.
Since she is 4'10'' of fiery natural redhead, and he says he needs alcohol in his hand to be around her.... "Bitchwidget" is the name Wes affectionately calls my Mother.
She always laughs -thank heavens the woman possesses a fairly good sense of humor.
So, he thought the name Bitchwidget Brewing Company would be appropriate.


I think I like it.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU&feature=fvst)

Memorials

I've been thinking of memorials lately.

How does one honor loved ones who have died?

On a recent trip, I took pictures of a roadside post. At the time I had no idea this was a memorial. There wasn't a name, just a random collection of interesting men's hats and some deer antlers.

It wasn't until I was walking back to the car, that I saw the flowers at the base and I realized what it was. I was going to inspect it further, but a shot rang out and I figured I'd better get on down the freeway. Gotta love rural America!



Directly after that experience, I took the picture of the headstone above. To me, it looked like someone took the time to think about Phyllis Alderson's life and who she was. And to write it down.

These memorials were complete opposites of each other, yet they both speak of a life well lived.

Both Phyllis and ''The Hunter'' obviously had people who loved them. Their memories will linger, never far away. Immortalized.



So, I guess it's never really goodbye.

Those left behind will grieve. And then one day they will breathe again. Maybe smile. Or laugh. Eventually picking up their life's work and heading down their chosen paths. All the richer for the experience of loving someone that deeply.




And so ...to answer the question....living a full and adventurous life is exactly how you honor someone's memory.



(listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saalGKY7ifU&feature=related)

Stubborn? Not really.

Communication is an interesting thing. Everyone has different skill levels, yet somehow we're expected to all balance these levels out and speak the same language. Fluently.
How ?
That's the question I throw out to the Universe at times.
And I don't know either.

I think it starts with mutual respect. A willingness to compromise. A dash of fun. Maybe a smidgen of teamwork. Or a soupçon of daring.
Both parties must have the intent to do the right thing.
Purposeful communication takes a lot of work. It's not for the weak .
Certainly not for the faint hearted.
And the rule needs to be: Nobody gets to leave until the subject is closed.
If everyone agrees to a worthwhile cause....well, then that makes it worthwhile doesnt it?

Tell you what......I'll bring the snacks, you bring the drinks.
This may take awhile.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZcBfDCdHWw)

It's Tradition!

Blessed Be to those who go all out during the holiday season.
I so love the opulence, the lights and the traditions.
It's magical.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYTnzNeTWmE)

Upper Crust

Have you ever noticed that , if you add a crust to something it's elevated in status?
For instance, a common roast of beef wrapped in pastry is now Beef Wellington.
Any fine restaurant will charge a ridiculous amount for this delicacy, and people will be lined up to get it. Happily.

Or, if you put bacon into a dish, you can practically see eyes roll and mouths water?
Steamed green beans are so dull, but toss in a few little bacon shreds and suddenly that side dish is the main event.

Or have you noticed calling something an exotic name somehow makes it better?
Beef stew is boring, but Beef Bourguignon is worthy of a write up in the local paper.

I guess it's true.
It's all in the little extras.

Isn't it?

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcyhVHrmlMU)

He's gone.

My Grandfather died yesterday.
He collapsed on Thanksgiving and was taken to the hospital.
He was there nearly a week.
Not one person contacted me. Nobody e-mailed.
Nobody picked up the phone for 2 minutes and let me know so I could travel to see him or to begin letting him go in my heart.

Not one.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT88jBAoVIM)

Fat City

The fattest city in America for 2009 is Miami, Florida.
Apparently, they have more obese people per capita than any other state.
While I dont care why these folks are fat, I'd like to talk about the scientific methods used to obtain this information.

How do they count?
Do the scientists tag fat people? Like they would animals in the wild?

I picture a group of people in labcoats driving slowly down the road in the back of a pickup truck, eyes ever watchful. Upon spotting a suitably obese person, do they rush and surround her with clipboards and tape measures? Shouting questions at her as to her ethnicity and age?
Do they mark her her back with a big red 'X' so they dont count her again? Is she given a radio tag bracelet so they can track her forays into burger and pizza joints?

Or, do the scientists hang around the entrances of large and tall clothing shops and gather information that way? Hmmm....Where's the sport in THAT?

I suppose they could simply sit outside a Krispy Kreme doughnut stand and tick off bags of doughnuts as opposed to waist size ratios. It's a little less sporting, but a bit more humane.

Sure beats getting a kick to the groin from angry fat people who refuse to go down without a fight.

It's like wrestling a wolverine. Or poking a barracuda with a stick.
These people can be brutal when threatened in the wild.

Trust me.

(Listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqz1ojIQTBk)

The Wordsmith

Writing is an art form to me.

While I'm ok at it, really its all about self expression.

Saying whats on my mind and in my heart.

Things that maybe I am thinking, but cannot formulate verbally.

Does this make me a writer?

No.

It makes me a person who struggles daily to say who they are inside. A person that attempts to put a piece of their spirit down on paper.

Therefore, when I see my words, and how I use them coming from another source, it is difficult not to feel angry and frustrated.

Plagerism is alive and well it seems.

Maybe I am overreacting. Perhaps I should take this as a compliment.

After all, borrowing words is something people have done for centuries.

If we didn't , words like ''groovy'' and ''what's your sign'' would have never caught on...right?

In writing this piece, I have come to terms with the fact that someone may take my ideas and run with them. Maybe learn a thing or two. Enjoy a laugh with a friend.

Sharing a part of my inner self with my readers is my aim here.

Looks like I succeeded.

Catch a Falling Star

Americans have this love/hate relationship with stardom.
So, what is the deal with celebrity fascination? I'm talking these so-called 'reality' stars here too, although I dont consider them anything but wanna-be celebs.

Do we think they have everything? Looks, Fashion, Money. Love and Amazing Lives?
Are we jealous? Intrigued?

What we may not realize, its damn hard work to become adept at acting.
It doesnt happen overnight, and it's not all fun and games.
It's hot. It's grimy. It's cold. It's kissing someone you'd rather not and making it look delicious.
It's knowing only the upper crust can actually make a decent living at their profession.
It's thinking you created a pretty good movie and being panned by the critics.
It's gaining 5lbs and being called 'fat' on every newspaper stand.
It's being in a panic when the first wrinkle appears or the first grey hair is spotted.
It's thinking you peaked at 26, and now you're ancient at 30.
There is a lot of rejection and a fair bit of ''who you know'' to actually make it in the acting world.
Gosh, imagine that.
I cannot even fathom the terror of wondering when/where your next 'job' will be coming from.

Who in their right mind would ever consider such a profession?
I suppose it's someone committed to the craft.
Someone who was willing to put in the dedicated hours to hone their talent.
Someone who was willing to pound pavements looking for a job-any job.



Someone who didnt know what else they could do to fill their soul.
Someone who followed their dreams and found their bliss.


So, I tip my hat to the 'real' stars out there that are entertaining me on a daily basis.
The ones who paid their dues.
I'll be seeing you at the movies.
Really soon.

(Listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxsHOEixzgM)

Saw "New Moon"

Have him washed and brought to my tent.
'Nuff said.

(listening to:http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x29je_simon-garfunkel-mrsrobinson_music)

Well Said.

Please watch this all the way through.
Keep an open mind.

I think he makes some excellent points.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjO4duhMRZk&feature=topvideos

Texas

''They don't have Brie in Texas, Mom.''



This was the response I got from my newly-transplanted-to-Texas son when I asked him what he was bringing to a friend's Thanksgiving celebration.

He was highly frustrated, since he planned on making Brie en Croute and he literally couldn't find the cheese.

This led me to remember what it was like coming to Oregon 10 years ago.

Even though it wasn't that far from Nevada, as far as foodstuffs, it could have been a million miles (at least).

In Nevada, the empathises was on cheap, plastic tasting food. Fresh from the garden wasn't plentiful since most people were unable to grow gardens and there weren't many farms. It's difficult to grow things in low water areas such as high deserts.

In Oregon, the weather is temperate, it rains here (a lot) and folks are interested in excellent quality.

As a result, garden fresh, organic produce is the norm. Home made breads and cheeses are available at farmer's markets. Milk and meats even taste different here since the animals are being grass fed.



My family adapted beautifully to these new experiences and came to love the difference.

We all like to eat, and we enjoy cooking.

I guess we've become food snobs.

So, my son is basically homesick.
He isn't liking Texas.
Maybe the food there isn't the best part.
Perhaps its the people.....or the culture...or weather...or ...or.........the whatever shiny bits Texas has.

I'm not sure what they do in Texas for Brie en Croute, but I'm positive they have excellent beef.

Beef Wellington? Maybe?

And sorry Son....I miss you too.
Terribly.


(Listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZlN9ZMgiR8)

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is officially America's Thanksgiving. It's the time of year where we gather

and count our blessing with family and friends. While everyone celebrates differently, I think we can all agree this is the perfect time to reflect on all the positive things that happened this year. Take a minute to think about loved ones that have sat at our tables who are no longer with us.

Ponder how the family has become stronger through trials and tribulations. Enjoy each other's company over heaps of traditional foods and drink. Laugh while cleaning up.

Take a walk, toss a football, jump in leaves.

I think I'll be working a nap in there too.

Happy Thaksgiving to all of you.

I am blessed.

November Bliss

I didn't clean the house today. I didn't shop. I didn't cook anything or prep for Thanksgiving.
The laundry pile is still there. Dishwasher is still full of clean dishes. Wood box is empty. Leaves still lay scattered all over the yard. Calls went unanswered. Emails never sent.

Why?

It was a clear day. A brisk, beautiful blue sky.
I went for a glorious motorcycle ride.
A very, very long 6 hour motorcycle ride.
A decadent lunch in a favorite cafe.
Wearing a smile so big, my teeth actually got cold.

And the best moment of the day was when Wes pulled over, took off his helmet and gave me that stern look he gets and said ''Going a bit fast, were we?'

Yes, yes we were.

WOOT!

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgI8bta-7aw)

Change in the Air

Chastity Bono will now be called Chaz Bono due to a sex change transformation.
She is now a He.

Why do we care?

Why in the name of all that is sacred, do people feel they MUST know about such private matters? Obviously we felt some sort of weird kinship to her when her parents paraded her around on their variety show in the 1970's.
Is it because we met her in our living rooms through the television?

I have no idea.
I can imagine she didn't take this step lightly.
I'm sure she carefully measured every pro and con and came up with a decision based upon her needs, her desires, her own soul.

Looking in the mirror and seeing someone that you dont recognize isnt ever easy.
The pain of living in the 'wrong' gender had to have been astounding
I'm pretty impressed Chaz had the courage to face himself.
He declared who he really is...and righted a wrong.
With grace, humor and honesty.

Can you say the same thing?

(Listening to : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBI3lc18k8Q)

The Challenge

I am a swimmer. And I'm pretty good at it.
My typical work out consists of swimming over an hour at our local indoor, heated pool.
I've been having a hard time staying motivated this past month, and my routine has fallen by the wayside. After a fairly rough summer, I really could use the exercise.

As I brainstormed on it, a flash went off in my brain.....What about a swimming marathon?
Looking around online , I found there are many 10k swimming challenges.
The closest one is in June 2010

I'm thinking it may be good to have a goal..something attainable.
So, Im going into training as of tomorrow. I will continue my swimming routine 5x a week for an hour a day, but I think I'm going to add in a brisk jog on the treadmill and additional weight lifting. I really dislike our elliptical machine, but maybe I'll try it again.

The main thing is to be consistant and focused.
I've been allowing the competitive streak in me to show once in awhile lately, which is a kind of freedom I rarely let anyone see. To squelch that part of me isn't healthy anymore.
This challenge may be just the ticket to shake off the winter doldrums.

And for those of you who are thinking to yourself 'she's only doing this so she can eat a lot of carbs'.....you'd be right.

Bring it.

(and if you're going to bring it, please put a smidgen of sauce on it...ok?)

Sweet Dreams

Did you know the average person swallows 8 spiders a year in their sleep?
The number is higher if you sleep with your mouth open or your home environment is cluttered and dirty.
I'd dearly love to discuss this subject further, but I really need to go clean my bedroom.
Talk amongst yourselves.

BUCK Tradition!

This year for
Thanksgiving, I am flying in live lobsters to grace our table.

Now, before I hear all of you freaking out about ''traditional' holiday fare, I'd like to remind you the pilgrims ate a heap of turkey for Thanksgiving...and a lot of lobster. There are historical documents stating the settlers were very tired of eating the crustacean by mid winter.

Besides, why shouldn't we eat something special for a holiday meal?

Turkey is so dull. We eat it often now that it is so readily available year round. In the past, at Thanksgiving, we've deep fried turkeys, had them smoked, baked, roasted and broiled.
Anymore, turkey is just an everyday protein. BLAH!

Give me some EXCITEMENT!!!
Give me some ADVENTURE!!!
Give me some LOBSTER!!!

Whew. That nearly sent me into an apoplectic fit.
I'm fine now, thanks. cough cough

Back to the matter at hand......

The lobsters are set to arrive on Wednesday.
How will I make sure they are still healthy and happy by Thursday?

I'm planning on tucking a soft blanket around them and singing them a lullaby as I plant a smooch on their tiny little foreheads. Maybe I'll even offer to polish their wee claws so they feel good about themselves. A quick gentle misting of organic sea water, and I'm sure they'll settle down nicely.

But, I have to remind myself NOT to name them. Or make any eye contact.
Or take pictures of them dressed in knitted scarves, hats and mini sunglasses.
Or hold them up all splayed out and say in my best Richard Nixon voice "I am NOT a crook!'

Dignity means everything to a lobster.
And I refuse to take that away from them.

Imaginary Friends

Are online friends real?

Can a true friendship be formed with someone you will probably never meet?

I think so.

I've been in the virtual chat room Second Life (http://www.secondlife.com/) for over a year and have met some wonderful....and not so wonderful people. These folks are as 'real' to me as anyone else in my flesh and blood life.

Why? Well, for one thing they know my spirit. They know my thoughts. My aspirations. They know me without a physical presence.
And I know them.
Their hope, dreams, fears. Things they could never tell people in their own lives. Someone once said it's like pouring your heart out to a bartender, or sitting next to someone on a long train ride and bonding intensely during that time. Except we have much cuter avatars!
Have to love being able to toss on a ballgown, make your butt smaller or change out your hair in a matter of seconds!

There are some that would argue that these friendships arent ''real''.
To them I reply:
Why would Second Life be any different than having a pen pal?
Or remember the CB craze of the 70's?
People find a way to connect, no matter what medium used.

There are some terrific characters that log into SL on a daily basis. My inner core of good friends has essentially stayed much the same for the entire time I've been online. Sure there have been minor tiffs and misunderstandings. There have been giant revelations and falling outs. We call that 'drama' and try to avoid it. It happens because we're human beings, not avatars.
But to have these people encouraging me and making me laugh has been one of the best things I've encountered. In turn, I try to lift their spirits and keep them thinking and smiling as well.
I've certainly gotten a much broader perspective on world events and the psychology of people.

By the way, the above picture is of me (as Bridget) and Chipper.
He's my best friend in Second Life. And I am his.
We have a great time talking and exploring and goofing off.
He also kicks me in the ass and motivates me to be a better person.

And really, isn't that what real friendship is all about?

Lost Again!

I got lost again.

This time, it was on the computer.

I couldnt find this blog page to write yesterday, and despite my best efforts, it stayed lost.

For some unknown reason, I hit a random button that erased all my 'favorites' on my lists.

Since I am not great at memory stuff, I couldnt remember the log-in name.

Frustrated? Oh yes!

Relieved to re-find my online diary?

You have no idea.

It's good to be back.

Sleeping Beauty

Did you know the average adult requires 7-9 hours of uninterupted sleep per night?

To be sleep deprived means your immune system is stressed, and your body can become weaker and unable to fight off things like cancer and a host of other ailments.

All summer I was cold. Wearing a sweatshirt when it was 90 degrees out seemed uncharacteristic for me. I reluctantly went to the doctor and lo and behold, my thyroid is whacked out. I'm now taking a thyroid supplement for the rest of my life. What FUN!

I didnt expect the side effect of a tiny white pill to be sleeplessness. It's like I'm exhausted, but my body won't rest. For instance, I'm actually writing this blog at 3am. It's amazing what flitters through my brain in the wee hours of the morning. Yeah, you really dont want to know.

On the other hand, when I finally do get to bed I lay down and sleep just like Sleeping Beauty.

See that picture above? That could be me any night of the week . My hair spread out beautifully onto the pillow, a single rose clutched in my fingertips, soft sighs and murmurs as I drift into restful slumber. My silk pajamas coordinating with the surrounding chamber drapes. Waking up to sunshine and tiny blue birds bringing me my robe as I slowly stretch.

Hey...a girl can dream, cant she?

Going Green

I think we all have a responsibility to the future generations to take care of the planet as best as we are able.

That being said, I havent always had the best practices as far as recycling. Since we dont eat a lot of processed foods, I can take some comfort in the fact that we arent adding to the pollution from a lot of bottles, boxes and cans.

I've resisted as long as I can.

I finally took the plunge and bought 8 cloth bags for groceries. They were at Trader Joe's (a somewhat upscale grocer) and were only $2.99 each. Not bad for heavy canvas bags emblazoned with the Trader Joe label. And Red.

My sister will be so pleased....I am FINALLY carrying designer bags. Go me!!

So, I was pretty excited to take them for a test run at Safeway. I filled my shopping cart, pulled up to the clerk and handed over my new cloth bags. I waited for his praise. Surely he was impressed with my green-ness.

That would be a big NO. The man was silent. Cranky.

I had no idea someone could be so unpleasant behind a cash register. Seems he actually resented my cloth bags that were emblazoned with the TraderJoe motif. He stuffed my groceries into the bags , crushed the bread, mumbled something under his breath and took my money.

Wow.

I guess saving the planet is much more lonely than I originally thought.

My BIG confession

I have a huge confession. It's so big, my fingers are trembling as I type.

I'm inwardly cringing.

Dare I tell you? Should I?

Ahem....here goes ...........

I pay $245 for 1.5 ounces of facial moisturizer.

OK, please close your mouth--that's not an attractive look and I'm pretty sure

your face will freeze that way if you arent careful.

Yes, I know it's stupid.

I'm totally aware.

But, its really,really GOOOOOOOD!!!

Putting this into perspective, gold is $1,089.90 per troy ounce

Other than making jewelry out of it, what is gold useful for--really?

It's a shiny rock.

At least my moisturizer leaves my skin feeling dewey and supple.

I read the ingredients as I was typing this and found out my moisturizer also contains caviar. See? In case of a great famine---I can eat it.

Wonder if its any good on toast?

(yes, I am open to suggestions if someone has found an amazing product out there and wants to send me the name and tell me how wonderful it is--after all, an open mind is the best beauty treatment there is)

Bad Day-Whine Alert!!! (sorry)

Saturday was a no good, very bad day.

I woke up not feeling well and had to cancel my usual Saturday swim with my friend, Carol.

I downloaded some weird thing onto my laptop that makes my screen really cute, but has lost all my applications. Now I have lost blogs I used to read, recipe sites, shopping sites and basically anything else that made me happy.

The job market stinks and I'm discouraged, bored and sick of hearing about the economy.

We had to cancel dinner plans with friends since Wes got called in to work --AGAIN. (Ok-I'm not feeling great and we probably would have anyway....but he still got called in)

I dont have anything cool to look forward to right now...like a great vacation. I havent booked anything in a long time. I never do that, since I feel its imperative to always look forward to something.

Dewey rolled in something and smells awful. Now, I either will avoid petting him (ugh!) or give him a shower ASAP. It's pretty cold here to have him wet, plus he's an older dog. He's not too keen on the blowdryer either. This should be fun.

The sun isnt going to shine until sometime in July.

I'm starting to think moving to Australia is looking better and better.

Sigh.

(listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yk_9sEhV3vM)

The Fraudulent Metaphor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMZlr5Gf9yY


If you were a child in the public school system during the 1968-1981 era, it was likely you watched the above award winning documentary by Disney called "White Wilderness", which told of culture and wildlife in Alaska.

It was fascinating to see the native Alaskans (called ''eskimos'' then) kill a whale and eat the blubber and meat raw right there on the shore. We'd all squirm and wriggle while practically getting sick to see someone eating raw meat.
Now, we call that sushi, and whaling is considered taboo.

Its amazing the changes of what was acceptable in 1958 and what isnt in 2009.

The series showed the plight of the little rodent called the Lemming. When food sources become scarce, the Lemming will rush over the cliffs and plunge into the ocean. Thousands of Lemmings were shown to be swimming out to sea, never to be heard from again. It was presumed they perished in the water, and it was obvious some didnt make it over the cliff due to broken bones and internal injuries.

Why am I telling you this?
I just learned Lemmings dont exhibit the behavior of rushing forward and leaping over a sheer rock cliff. Those particular Lemmings on the film were forced over the edge of the jagged rocks and killed.

Apparently the filmmakers shoved those poor creatures to their deaths to get a good 'story'.

They won awards. And accolades. And received praise.
Thousands of school children were shown this movie repeatedly so we were exposed to different ways of doing things. I remember in one class a teacher even warned us not to be 'Lemmings' when it appeared we were all following the class leader too closely.

Now that I think about it, it wasnt the kids who were the Lemmings in this case.
It was the people who blindly followed the murderous director of this film.

Swine Flu

I really cant help it...thought this was funny.
Please go back to your regularly scheduled lives.
That is all.



(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-z7M3FZv4E&feature=related)

Breakfast of Champions

Please take a look at these two bottles.
They look quite a bit alike, dont they?
Which one do you suppose would taste better on a waffle in the morning?

Why am I asking this?
Dont ask.
All I can say was .....it wasnt pretty. Or nice. Or even tasty.

And yes, I am making an eye appointment very very soon.

(listening to:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb3XAP0c8WU)

Keep Out!

Maintaining any semblence of privacy in an informational world is one

of the greatest feats of all time.

Names can be googled, addresses discovered.

We can find out what a person paid for their home, what tax base they belong to and what their myspace page is named.

All within seconds if you have a computer and a brain.

Thats just the tip of the iceberg.

This isn't a worrisome thing, unless you are hiding something. Or have stalker. Or just dont want your business put out onto the streets.

I'm constantly appalled at myself for saying too much in the name of 'full disclosure'. I feel like if I dont have anything to hide, obviously neither does the person I'm talking to. It brings us closer, binds us as friends.

Can a person be true friends with someone that steadfastly maintains their privacy?

Can a friendship flourish on a base of boundaries that really doesnt let someone see into the inner core of that person?

While I can respect their stance, I dont think so.

I have thousands of people that I am acquaintances with, but very few in my 'inner circle'.

If you get past the superficial boundaries, my friends receive gifts from me.

Gifts like trust, friendship, loyalty and love.

Simple acquaintances never get the best of who I am.

They get a shadow. A glimpse.

But never all of me.

Ever.

Pizza Recipe

See this work of art?

Its a pizza I made with homemade crust (recipe to follow), ground beef, mushrooms, garlic, cheese, and red onion.

I wanted to try out my new pizza stone.

The only problem was I didnt realize I needed to grease or season my stone.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess that I literally couldnt lift this pizza off the stone. We wound up eating just the toppings.....which was my intention all along--think lower carbs, right?

Pizza Crust

2 c Water

1/2 c Oil

3 cloves Garlic; crushed

2 tablespoons Sugar

1 teaspoon Salt

6 cups Flour (I use half whole wheat/half white)

2 pk Yeast (2.5 teaspoons per package)

Dissolve yeast in water and add sugar; wait a few minutes; add oil and salt and garlic.

Mix in 3 cups flour and whip about 10 min till it leaves the side of the mixer bowl. Add remaining flour knead till smooth. Allow to rise twice in the bowl. Punch down. Roll out or press onto well oiled baking sheet (thats the part I didnt do...oops)

Bake at 425* 20 min.

Makes 2 crusts

The Elf Chronicles

“The mall is hiring an elf to help Santa out”

I’m sure he meant well by letting me know about the job.

He’s tired of seeing me bored and is pretty convinced my staying home all the time has something to do with it.


I admit it—he’s 100% correct.


OK, I realize I’m not working.
I get that jobs are scarce in Oregon at the moment.


But really….an ELF? ME?


Do I seem the type to have Elven qualities?

Prancing around in a pine green outfit with itchy red and white striped tights.

Wishing mightily for the Costco sized bottle of Purell

Dangling smelly babies into Santa’s arms.

Warning the snotty little 8 year old determined to kick Santa in the goolies.

Arguing over allotted ‘lap time’ with a precocious kids mom

Inventory of candy canes

Curbing my acerbic wit until I implode in a fit of unsaid words and rolling eyes

Wrestling the flask out of Santa’s gloved hands mid-shift, yet secretly having a wee nip behind the back drop during a break (medicinal only of course)

Fake snow lodged in places I dont even want to think about

Giving the ‘tiny pinch’ (think soft part of the upper arm) to the little darling that is too old to be touching the Elf (namely ME)in that manner

Getting my heart torn asunder when a little girl begs to have Daddy home from Iraq

Trying to see Christmas from a child’s perspective (and failing utterly)

Realizing I’ve blown the big Santa secret for a dozen kids in line when I call him ‘George’

Ducking the eggnog shake that comes flying at me from some gang of laughing teens walking by

Making minimum wage

Cleaning up after the real reindeer that mall management thought would lend an authentic air

Spraying ‘’pine scent’ to cover up the unwashed, tired Santa sitting in the festive chair as well as the aforementioned authentic raindeer

Letting above Santa get all the glory, because after all—HE IS SANTA!!

While all of this sounds oh-so fun, I think I’m gonna have to pass this year.
Sucking spit and scraping gums may not be a glamour job—but at least I don’t have to wear pointy shoes.

Unless I want to, that is.

The next generation

This is Kenzy, my great niece.

My brother's granddaughter.

She's 3.

Actually, to talk to her, she's about 23.

Intelligent, articulate, funny, kind.

She's a bright spot, for sure.

I hope she realizes what a special place she holds. She's the beginning of the next generation in our family.

Currently, we have 5 generations living. The age range is 3-86.

Just how many families can say that?

Truth in Labeling

"Cucumber Song"

I read and re-read the bottle. I'd been washing my hands and I happened to catch a whiff of the new bottle of liquid anti-bacterial soap I'd picked up.

It smelled pretty good, but I started to laugh when I read what the company had decided to call this particular scent.

"Cucumber Song"

Who THINKS up this stuff?

I'm serious---I need to know.

Soul Mates

Someone said the word 'Soul Mate' to me the other day.
I was taken aback, since it seemed an odd thing to trickle out of his oh-so-pragmatic brain.
Do I believe in Soul Mates?
And the answer is.....


YES.

I believe spirit transcends time, space, and gender.
I believe when you find that person--you just know.
I also believe finding your true soulmate is rare.
It's pure magic when you do.
And you are never, ever the same.

Last Ride 2009

Yesterday Wes and I made our last motorcycle ride of 2009.

Cornering under canopy of trees and trying not to slip in the icy spots where the waterfalls touch the road, fingers numb, despite 2 pairs of thermal gloves. Shivering for 3 hours after.

BRRRRRRR!!!!!

We just about froze to death, despite wearing full gear and woolies underneath. Even our eyes got chillyat one point--and you can't exactly pull the wool over my eyes. (HA! Didn't see THAT coming, did you?)

Anyway, I digress.

The last ride of the season is always bittersweet.

Knowing we have to put away our toys and feeling the emptiness of not having that outlet isn't something I like doing. Sometimes I wish for a warmer, less rainy climate so I can ride year round.

But, the trade off is melanoma, wrinkles and age spots. Ice cream cones that melt before you can lick around them. Watering lawns far into the Fall.

Swimming pool upkeep. Being forced to wear sundresses and sandals more than 6 weeks a year

And old people who are there just for the climate.

Yeah, I'd hate every minute of that.

Thats what I keep telling myself anyway.

E-Harmony look out!!

Oh.
There were no words to explain my thoughts when I stumbled onto this website.
None.

I'm jammed!!

I'm a squirrel, according to my sister.

Why?

I enjoy putting food away for the winter.

I actually love canning summer's flavors to savor and relish throughout the long, dull winters.

I also like knowing where my food comes from, and controlling spices.

This year, our peach tree exploded in a weekend. I ambushed grapes from my mother's arbors and the neighbors left town just in time as their raspberries ripened.

And, shhhh......but I was also spotted picking blueberries over the back garden fence.

Late at night. Wearing dark colors.

After all, doesnt EVERYONE need a jar of jam when the going gets tough?

Of COURSE they do....with a loaf of homemade bread.

And a hug.