In the Bleachers

A few days ago, I was at a festival with my friend, Angie
(a fellow hygienist, I may add)

We were walking around, sampling everything from watermelons to peanut brittle to aged balsamic vinegar
We did fun crafty things, had our rings cleaned and our hands exfoliated, heard some music and saw some outfits we tried not to stare at

But despite all the fun we had
the one thing that sticks in my mind was the tooth whitening booth
2 adults (early 20's) in white lab coats stood ready to lighten teeth
They appeared very medical-like
In Oregon
you need a license to bleach teeth
so I wondered what types of products they were using

I headed that way
and
heard Angie half choke under her breath
''OH NOOOO''
So, I was sort of laughing inside when I approached the booth
I very politely asked if they
were hygienists or dentists
and
they said they were college students
I asked about the procedure
They acted like they knew what they were doing
from a mechanical standpoint
I then asked them the strength of their product
and what was in it
They didn't really know, that much was obvious
At that point, the female of the pair got up
from her chair and came over to me
I'm sure she sensed a sale coming on
She told me dentists charged
''at least $400 for this same exact thing''
and
she went on to say she'd heard that the dentist version
''actually takes your enamel off your teeth''

Oh wow....how I wish she hadn't said that

As I struggled to stay neutral and calm
Angie saw the muscle in my jaw twitch
and my right eyebrow raise
It was at that moment
she decided to turn tail and run
She's a self proclaimed coward that way
my friend
Angie

I have to say in my defense....
I never once revealed my profession
I never lost my cool
And I didn't correct their errors
nor tear them to shreds right there in public
I figured they were selling snake oil
and if someone was stupid enough to buy it
I wasn't going to be able to stop them
but
It was pretty damn hard not to say anything
and yes
my jaw still hurts

Good 'Ol Boys Club

AARRGGHHHH!!!!
I admit I'm completely frustrated
I don't get it
I
have a science degree
ride a big motorcycle
can hold a decent conversation
scuba dive
garner a better wage than most
plus do housework
cook
laundry
shop
mow the lawn
parented 2 kids
who turned into wonderful human beings
so
will someone please tell me
why
as a female
in 2010
I have to work
twice as hard
to
earn half the respect
?

An Affair to Remember

I don't usually pay attention to celebrity gossip
but the latest
media freak out about
May-December couple
Ashton Kutcher(32) and Demi Moore (48)
kind of struck a nerve
After it hit the tabloids that Ashton was ''caught''
snogging someone other than his wife
(in a public place, no less....sheesh)
Demi had the presence of mind
to post bikini shots of herself
on Twitter
(see above)
There's no doubt about it
She is hot
still looks amazing
but
I feel like she completely
missed the point
in her
hour of obvious desperation
Affairs
don't happen because
the other party isn't desirable
they happen
because the grass is greener
on the other side of the fence
because we're bored
because the relationship is broken
because it feeds our ego to be wanted
because monogamy is man-made
because we like the energy of someone different
because we've found a kindred spirit
because because because
we're human

This made me laugh...enjoy!

Day in the Life of a Food Judge

I thought I'd take you through
some of the ''behind the scenes''
life of a
Food Judge
While it's fun getting paid to eat
let's not forget
it's
also a huge responsibility
and
not everything is tasty and yummy
for instance
I loathe bananas
(even writing that word makes me sick)
and I have to eat
banana bread, banana cake and banana cream pie
a lot
and
trust me
I love cookies
but
after my 145th chocolate chip cookie (no nuts)
I kind of lose the will to live
Especially
when still faced with walls of preserves
....then the cakes....
and the pies.....
breads....
...and cheese
But I admit I really do love my job

Most hotels rooms provided aren't fancy but what they lack in amenities

They make up for in views
(Isn't this pretty?It was right outside my back door)

Note the huge bottle of Purell? They know my judging style. :)
This was the 4-H side of the contests
(and the paperwork involved? see? I wasn't kidding)
I also had the static (open) classes to judge
which are the rest of the entries

Most of the time I have 2 adult assistants
This particular event I have a cute, camera shy
cookie eating
10 year old named Zoey
Who
someday would love to have my job
(so she told me about a gazillion times )

I can't blame her
Is there anything better than wild blackberry jam?
Really?

Judging Day Part 2

Most of the time
there is only one
judge
(me)
Trying to remember
everything
means I take copious notes
and
try to stay super organized
and on top of every category
In some fairs
there is an interview component
where the 4-H kid
has a one-on-one
interview with the judge
and usually is
horribly nervous
In the past
I have had the interviewees
cry, vomit or shake
but
I can usually get them to calm down
by teasing them
about trying to poison the judge (me)
and
making them eat their own food
I've found
if I can get them to smile
and relax
usually
I can turn their fear
into a learning
moment

Pies are my favorite part
Even a bad pie is still pretty darn good

Layer cakes are so vintage, aren't they?

Judging Day Part 3

So many slices...so little time

The creativity is fantastic

More pie
(seems someone squealed that a particular judge loves pie...hmmmm)

All done for the day
12-14 hours is typical
no breaks
it can be grueling
and
Yep
I usually need some
Alka Seltzer
afterwards
!