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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Silver Tongues..and Snap Peas

Have you ever received an apology that was insincere?
Empty words
which
mean nothing
So
Why do some people
insist on apologizing
and then
continue the same behavior?
I suppose I
will never understand
They are doing the same thing
repeatedly
yet
here we both are
expecting and hoping
for different results
which is
the very
definition of
insanity
You know
I'm all for second chances
and thirds
but then there
comes a cut off point
when
I must declare
that
I'm finished
done
completed
enchantment over
After all
not drawing
a line in the sand
makes me as wrong
as the
person
who wasn't
sorry
in the first place


Saturday, February 27, 2010

It's Complimentary My Dear Watson

I admit to being
a
work in progress
I'm finally figuring out how important
Praise for a job well done
and
a sincere compliment
is
In the past
I have always handed out
accolades and compliments in
an
off handed sort of way
I mean
If I spend time with someone
I assume they realize
That the time spent with them
means
I must like them very much
and should be enough
and
I mostly enjoy
what and who they are
Oh sure
I'd say on occasion
''that's a cute outfit''
or
''You handled that situations well''
or even the vague
''Great job''
but
a really sincere compliment
that is believable
has a lot more detail, depth, and body to it
For instance
if I said
"I love how that light blue shirt complements
the color of your sparkly eyes''
it may not seem like much more than
''I like your shirt''
but the recipient
is left with
a much different and better view
of themselves
Maybe they are
even more confident
with the choices they've made
And really
isn't that the entire
POINT
of a
compliment
?



Friday, February 26, 2010

The egg and I

I dislike eggs
intensely
so
There is poetic justice
in the world
when I see
egg pictures like this
and
to see them cringing in fear
as
the fork lowers
makes me
laugh

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Bento Life


Whilst staring at the sea
I realized
I have always compartmentalized my life
Family goes into the big ,deep, soft area
Friends into the roomy side pockets
Career goes into the drawer
that I wrench open from time to time
Talents and hobbies
are the teeny pull outs at the very top
Health and well being
are in the hidden drawer
inside the entire
box
The difficult thing
is
when all of these drawers
are opened
and
the contents come seeping out
all at once
Trying to shove them all
back inside
is like trying
to close
Pandora's Box



Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Advisory Committee

If someone asks for my advice on something
I will happily give it to them
However
the lesson I need to learn here
is
not to attach
any emotion to that advice
I should just hand out my thoughts
and then back off
If they choose to listen
then I've done a good turn
but
if they go a different route
I should
shut up
(and saying ''I told you so'' is bad form all the way around)



Monday, February 22, 2010

Planes, Trains & Automobiles



It's 2010
If someone truly
wants to keep in touch
They
will




Sunday, February 21, 2010

Grassy Fencelines

I was sitting at the computer yesterday
and a good friend ,
sent me a note
that said
''I want your life!!''
I was completely taken aback
Why would someone I admired
want
MY LIFE?
Good God
In some ways
yes
I do live an enviable life
I've been blessed in many many areas
And I am aware
at times
certain things seem to
come easy
for me
On the other hand
I'm full
of
fears , mistakes
and anxiety
just like anyone else
Believe it or not
I'm very shy inside my skin
(where it counts)
I have to force myself not turn inward
or
feel about 16 years old
And let me tell you
that's a feat unto itself
most of the time
So
I shot my friend a return note
within minutes of hers
in which
I simply stated
''Funny you say that, I've always wanted yours!! ''



Saturday, February 20, 2010

Front and Centered

In this Life
Some things are harder to deal with

than others

and

if things are not going well

My husband knows

when to take me

to

the beach house

He realizes being there

watching the waves crash onto the shore

seeing the whales cruise

by

and the seagulls chatter at me

sitting with a cup of tea

on the deck

the wind ruffling my hair

and

blowing through my mind
Being in that exact spot

keeps me more centered

happier and focused

and

if I protest at all

about going there

he will

grab my hand

and

drag me
kicking and screaming
to the sea

Although

to be honest

secretly

I'm pretty grateful

he knows when

I've reached

my

limit





Friday, February 19, 2010

It's Gor-Met

My best friend Reggie doesn't cook.
I'm talking...she cooks
NOTHING
This has always been something we've laughed about over the years
since I cook all the time...and well
I consider cooking an art form
and enjoyable
She sees it as a necessary evil that
must be performed by someone else
Maybe it's an Australian thing--which is where she grew up
I have no idea
Anyway
Reggie was at my house a couple of weeks ago
And since I know she's on Weight Watchers
for dinner
I made a bunch of roasted vegetables
and
A whole tray of BBQ'd mushrooms
She went wild over them
And wanted to learn to make them herself
Good God
Will wonders never cease?
So I wanted to show her the spice combination I used
and
As I opened up my spice cupboards
I heard an intake of breath behind me
a gasp
I turned around
And saw her pale face and round eyes
as she stepped back 3 paces
and
I realized
in that very moment
I lost the budding cook
she was going to be
How sad
I guess I will never understand
why something like
2 full cupboards
of spices could intimidate someone
Because
after all
doesn't EVERYBODY
have
Orange Muscat Champagne Vinegar
on hand
?



Thursday, February 18, 2010

Delusions of Grandeur

This picture just made me laugh.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

About Me


10 Things I love:

1. My family/friends and pets mean everything to me

2. Living in an age where information and knowlege is so readily available if I care to look for it.

3. Lavender Roses and Shasta Daisies

4. Travel and learning about new cultures and ways of doing things

5. Soft flannel sheets on a cold night

6. Having enough

7. Working at a professional job

8. Chocolate, but especially bittersweet (the good stuff, at least 70% bean)

9. Matinee Movies, alone

10. Swimming every day in a heated pool

10 Things I Dislike:

1. Calories (I think everything should be calorie free)

2. People who don't take personal responsibility for their actions

3. Disorganization and Chaos

4. Bananas/Liver/Eggs

5. Any abuse of a living creature or littering

6. The sound of a dental drill or a baby/child screaming

7. How people behave under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol

8. The smell of coconut or vanilla scented lotions or candles

9. Being manipulated

10. Machinery that doesn't work when it's supposed to

There you have it--20 things about me that maybe you didn't already know .

So what are your 20 things??



Monday, February 15, 2010

Athletic Women

I graduated High School in the early 80's
There was a Rite of Passage
all females had to endure
As
freshmen
we had to go out and purchase
the ugliest thing we'd ever worn
The fit was horrid
it was uncomfortable
This garment was called
THE GYMSUIT
It was a requirement
in this particular school district
to
wear a white version
just like the picture above
Elastic legs
Snaps or buttons
with a fake belt
We had to have our names above the left pocket
written in boldly in ink
or
if you had a handy Mother
you were allowed to have your name
embroidered in colored thread
They were to be taken home and washed
once a week
and
we wore white socks
with
white sneakers
to complete the ensemble
Pretty snazzy, huh?
I suppose it didn't matter
what we wore
we weren't allowed out often
from
the drafty girls locker room
The girl's gym was small
and
smelled of mildew
While the boy's locker room
housed the beloved football and basketball teams
and was huge
The message was clear
''Girls don't count in athletics''
I often wondered why that was
as
I got shoved into every Home Economic class
and
basically told to shut up
because
''this is the way it is for females''
but
I do know
even as a young teenager
the double standard
really made me
angry
I often think now
of all the natural athletic talent
gone to waste
as we stood shivering and waiting
for our turn at badminton
or
learned to do a line dance
like the 'hustle'
I'm laughing here as I recall
what I did
about this horrible injustice
I simply staged
a
tiny one-girl protest
of the
GYMSUIT
It sounds small and insignificant
by today's standards
I suppose
but
it was scandalous then
Every day
I
wore panties
with large dark lettering
written boldly across the butt
that
could be read through
the thin
GYMSUIT
fabric
I remember
One of the panties
said
''Smart Ass''
And
its interesting
but
not one
teacher had the guts
to
say a word



Sunday, February 14, 2010

Name Game


Naming another human being is a huge undertaking

It's one of those things where everyone has an opinion

and

the child has to live with your choices

There is a lot to be said about an appropriate name

Something that is classic, yet different

Easy to pronounce

has a ''coolness'' factor

Plus

you don't want your kid

to be

one of dozens with the same name

in their classes

growing up

As for me

I had a much hated middle name

I was named after my favorite Grandmother

and I really liked that

it was a huge honor

until

she confided in me

when I was about 7

that she secretly loathed our middle name

so

I had my middle name

legally changed many years ago

after she died

The tough part in that process

of change

was telling my Mother

I avoided the subject for a year or so

and

finally confessed what I'd done

She looked at me and said simply

''Remember, I didn't know you when I named you that''

and you know what

She was right




Valentine's Day



If I got all sentimental

and lovey-dovey

and soppy

about

Valentine's Day

I suspect

you'd all think there was something wrong

After all

I'm far too cynical to get excited about hearts and flowers

and silly cards

and red and pink crepe paper streamers

Yep, thats me

"Miss Cynical"

but

Sometimes those that

rail against and resist

such things

are the ones

who need it

the most




Saturday, February 13, 2010

Walk on by.....

Sometimes
being
a
really
great
friend
means
walking
away
slowly
even
when
you
don't
want
to

Friday, February 12, 2010

Upgrades

I think adults should be required to go
back to school
for a year
perhaps at 45 years of age
and
then again at 65
to
(re)learn a few things
we once knew
We all lose information
the older we get
Our brains aren't as malleable and plastic
plus they are full of the day-to-day
issues of real life
So
Wouldn't it be great
to get into a classroom
and upgrade those areas
where we could use some help?
Everyone could pick and choose
their own curriculum
Since
we know exactly where our weakness lies
now
that we're out in the big bad world
and all grown up
Bad spellers would get needed tutorials
We could learn a new language
People with poor math skills
would finally get the help they deserve
without embarassment
and
maybe even the divorced
could take a life skills class
to
figure out how to cope
with dating, cooking, solo parenting
and balancing the checkbook
Plus
let's face it
an age appropriate stress class
would be fantastic
for everyone
I do know if this was a
requirement
I'd finally learn how to spell conscious
without looking it up
(like I did just now)
And you can bet
this second time around
dodge ball at recess
would be a whole lot more
fun



Thursday, February 11, 2010

Make it count



It's very interesting to me

how

someone could be part of your daily life

and

then they arent

Separated by different fates

Paths diverging

Sometimes by geography

Sometimes by death or illness

Sometimes by choice

It's always been sad to me

to

lose someone

What I've learned

is

People won't remember

what you wore

How much money you had

or

what you said

but

They will always remember

how

you made them feel

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Saving Grace

If you ever get caught with
unexpected guests
and
a house that's less than perfect
there is something you can do in a hurry
with very little notice
Scoop up the newspapers
spritz the guest bathroom down
with some foamy cleanser
then
Put the kettle on for tea
and
bake cookies
I can guarantee
those small things
combined with
a warm hug and a genuine smile
will make the messy countertops
just
disappear





Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Come out...please.

On Sunday, I took a trip to the coast.
It was a beautiful afternoon, mid 50's
A little misty
just enough to be mysterious
So I
snapped a few pictures
like the one above
I swear as I stepped over gnarled, tangled roots
and
onto the lush carpet
of
loamy soil
to get this particular shot
Every fiber of my being
was wishing
I would discover
a
Fairy



Monday, February 8, 2010

Truly Naked

What would you be if everything you held dear
was stripped away from you?
No Job
No Home
No Family
No Money
No Name
No Friends
All your clothes gone
Leaving you
naked
You'd be exposed
Totally on your own
Without any outside trappings
or support
so
What then?
Would your true talents finally be revealed?
Your spirit still soar?
or
Would you be so focused on what you don't have
that you couldn't
see
what you
do?

Gardening

I think the proper topiary says it all.
Don't you?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

15 minutes are up

I was happily having a ''getting to know you'' online chat
with a new person I met
in Second Life
the other day
Through carefully crafted questions and comments
I already knew her to be 22 years old
''stuck'' in Ohio
going to college
and a proud pet owner
of
2 hermit crabs
She was delightfully witty and fun
A bit of an ingenue
As she asked me some questions about myself
Probably the most surprising question she asked
was
"Have you ever done anything newsworthy or been famous''?
I had to stop and ponder that one for awhile
and
I was thinking to myself
''Isn't that an interesting question''
because
those who are newsworthy or famous
tend to not call attention to themselves
in fact
most seem to shy away from the limelight
and instead
they focus attention upon someone else
I think that's what makes me so crazy
about these reality shows on television
most of the contestants
don't know when to turn it off
and let their 15 minutes
of fame
just
go

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Do It

Sometimes baby steps aren't big enough
Sometimes
GREAT BIG LEAPS
are the
only way to start the necessary changes
We all get into these ruts
so there isn't growth
We sit there stagnating
But a life well lived
means change
So today
open yourself up
say ''YES''
when you want to say ''NO''
Do something that makes you
uncomfortable
You will find that tiny piece
of
YES
will open up doors that you never dreamed
and
will take you down paths
beyond your own imagination
and daring
I promise

Friday, February 5, 2010

Urban Legend?


If you plug your name into the Urban Dictionary
you'll find out probably more than you ever wanted to
know about your name.
Here's mine
Tammy:
A sexy curvy, girl-next door type that will leave you breathless and steal your heart.
You will never find another girl like a Tammy.
Often referred to as ''the one''.
She loves to laugh and play, but don't be fooled by her smile.
She has a low tolerance for stupidity and immaturity
and will knock you on your ass if you run up on her.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lucky You

Have you noticed how fortunate some people are?
How everything just seems handed to them
while
they go through their life seemingly
with
a lucky charm in their pocket
It's like
they get the big breaks
run in all the best circles
have an ease about them that defies imagination
What I think
is
they aren't particularly lucky
they are in the right place, at the right time
they are wide open to possibilities
they are prepared to accept change
and
ask for help from the right people
who are able to actually assist them
Instead of whining about their misfortune
They are resiliant
They fail and try again
because really
the only failure
is
in
the
not trying

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

All roads lead...to home

About 3 days after high school graduation
I moved to a different state
Actually, I was running away
Running from a life I saw as pre-planned
Pre-destined
Ordinary and mundane
The town I grew up in
had always been such a boring, predictable place
My family name was well known
and fairly respected
but
This town is funny in that
a person will never be more or less what they were in high school
It wouldnt matter if you'd earned a PhD
and cured cancer
All it would matter to the townspeople
was
the touchdown that was missed
because
you dropped the ball
during the big homecoming game
or
that the guy you dated as a senior
turned out to be gay
Back then
I saw my hometown as binding me
tying my arms at my sides
as I struggled to break free
and fly
But
I have to admit
when I go ''home''
now
there is a part of me that
wants to sink down into the comfort of familiarity
and
just lie there
awhile

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's not you....it's ME

Thanks to so many of you who write to me
I read each and every email
and
some make me laugh
some have made me cry
Your comments are brilliant
insightful and well said
and all have kept me interested
and motivated to continue
The most common thing I hear
from my friends and readers
is
''Did I inspire that blog?''
I suppose its really good
to reach as many people as I do
Mindblowing, actually
Maybe they have similar stories
Or
I touched some tiny bit of their spirit
I mean after all
this simple blog is just something I started
to sort of explain to my kids
who I really am
What propels me forward
I feel like I can parent them somehow
when I'm not around
They can look up my little blurps
hear my voice
through my words
and know that I'm always
growing, listening, and learning
and
thinking about them
with love and pride
And to answer the questions
they were wondering about
So
really
the answer is
NO
I'd say 99.99% of this blog
isn't about anyone in particular
but
it's just me on my journey of
self discovery

Monday, February 1, 2010

Here Comes The Judge

It's inevitable
Humans judge each other
They may say they aren't
but
they most certainly are
Maybe it comes from living in a community
that needs to stay close to survive
Words are weighed
Actions carefully noted
All based on the
notion of what is
''right''
What I have learned in 46 years
is
there is really no ''right'' or ''wrong''
Sometimes the stark black or white
answer
lies somewhere in the misty grey
I'd hate to think
That I ever influenced someone to go against
their better judgement
but
I'm sure I have done exactly that
just as they
in turn
pushed me in directions
that didn't make sense for my life
So
I am going to start practicing
acceptance
Fully embracing our differences
Knowing I am not the judge and jury
nor
do I wish to be judged for my choices
To my way of thinking
Our behavior and attitudes
need to stop
somewhere
and
I'm realizing the only person
I can actually control
on this planet
is me